DOG DISASTERS, OIL GUNS and
OTHER EPIC EVENTS
Day 55
Thursday Sept 5 Zoe’s Morning Pages
Holy
Canolli, the next time B gets the bright idea to have the oil changed in the
middle of nowhere, let’s remember to talk her out a it! This guy from China
jumped right into the car with me, and starts talkin to me like we had known
each other for years and years. Meantime, I’m thinkin “where’s my moms?!” Then
he gets back out and next thing I know I’m like twenty feet up in the air! The
cars danglin on the this little pole in a dark cold room and it smells like
saudi arabia! There’s oil spurtin outta nozzles all over the place. “Whatup?
Where am I? Did I fall asleep, is this a bad dream? “
Finally
after forever I see Mischa and B way way down below me and they’re tryin to get
the men to let me down. But the Chinese guy and his sidekick (who seems to be
practicin for some kind of trippin and mishap competition, on accounta he keeps
knockin things over and lurchin around,) is zoomin in and out doin, no one can
really say what. They definitely were not gettin me back to earth! Then when they do bring me
back, B gets in the car and then the Chinese guy gets in the car, where Mischa
usually sits and he starts drivin the car! I hear him tell B about
Jesus (whose picture is on every wall in the shop!) Then B tells him about the little buddha she
carries around. I’m thinkin, hey is this backward or am I missin somethin. Then
I hear him tell B that he thinks I am a real nice dog. Now I’m thinkin, if he
thought I was so nice why did he hang me up on the ceiling, all alone, for so
long! Then he tells her about a dog he had, who he loved so much but the dog
“he had flea!”
Then he said his neighbor saw the dog
scratchin and scratchin hisself until he wore a hole in his tail! And the
neighbor called the police or something. Next thing the Chinese guy knew he had
a letter from the law sayin he had to get the dog to the vet right away. And
then the vet said it would cost a small fortune to get the dog all cleared away
from the flea (them’s minoots to you Pink). So the vet took the guy’s dog and
he never saw him again!
Egads
people, what kind of place did you take me to. Ain’t there no Jiffy Lube on the
I-5? Those guys don’t talk at all they just shout out some indecipherables from
the basement and fill up your oil.
You
don’t get hung up on no pole, and you don’t get left with stories that scare
the bee-cheeses outta ya!
Man
o man, them fleas gets dogs in a heap of troubles. I’m thinkin about poor Pinky
who almost had her whole tail chewed up last week. Hey! Come to think of it...what the hey happened to my tail!
It’s like a little stub, and I certainly do not recall chewin it off! Cheez
maneez if it ain’t one thing it’s another. I gotta invest in some of them dog
tranquilizers, this livin business is hard!
Did
I mention B and Mischa has new friends! They came all the way up the mountain
to see the mom’s and they had a big cookie with red icing on it, for me! That kills me when people do such nice
things. It takes the whole oil-changing-flea-bitin-neighbor-tatlin theivin-vet
story and just washes it clean from my mind.
And
speakina cookies, I think I saw biscotties in the bag of goodies ronni gave us.
I’m
wonderin how I could get teeth inta one a them, they smell real sweet!
Later.
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