Monday, December 22, 2014

Zoes Back, Temptation in the Garden of Eden? Dec 22 2014


Zoe’s Back,  Temptation in the Garden of Eden?

Like i said, old elizabeth thinks a that big chunk a swamp next to the house as her own personal garden a eden. She calls it the ‘green way’, and when she does, me and mischa’s shoulders rise up over our ears and we duo-cringe in utter disbelief.
‘The woman’s delusional!’  I told msicha.
‘No honey,’ she tried to console me ‘You might say she’s way more optimistic than you and me.’ Then she added, ‘delusional is a strong word, if you wanna continue to be the recipient of breakfast lunch and dinner here, i would suggest you retract that....just sayin.’
I  caught her drift, but since old elizabeth cant really hear me anyway, i thought i’d go on utterin the word delusional a bit longer just to try it on for size. Then after about an hour or so, i realized, it dint feel that good hangin such a powerful word on someone i loved so much, so i went ahead and took it back. Mind ya this all happened without elizabeth even knowin, but i felt better about it anyways.

Back to the greenway slash swamp. She tries to get us both to go out there explorin.
She has all kinds a activities she does out there. The main one is pickin up the evil asian potato vine and she instructs me in it too, “Zoe this is my nemisis, honey, when you see this yank it out!.” She makes Mischa go on potato huntin missions all the time. AND she even hired two guys who mischa aint all that fond a to come in and  help ta yank it! That makes old mischa shake her head real hard while starin at the ground and mumblin. Elizabeth’s always shoutin out at her ‘You’re Mumblin!!!”  Then Mischa says ‘You can’t hear!!!”
Then they laugh and point and hold onto their bellies real tight. I can never figure out what’s goin on when they start that routine.
But back to the swamp.... usually Mischa refuses to go in there on accounta coral snakes and cottonmouths, pythons and the dread gators too. But sometimes Elizabeth keeps on pokin at her till she agrees and off they go. I stay on the edge, tryin to keep an eye out for em. It makes my stomach hurt though all that worryin i gotta do while they’s in there. but bein a loyal pup, its my job so i do it.
One day Elizabeth goes inta the garage and comes out with these huge black rubber boots that’s about four feet tall. She washes them inside and out, all the while smilin and singin to herself. Then I hear her callin Mischa  ‘’it’s time.  i got your boots all cleaned up!’’  I hear Mischa sayin  ‘’are you sure this is a good idea maybe i changed my mind...”    Elizabeths all ‘’it’ll be fun come on you promised!”  Mischa puts her head down and starts starin at the earth again, kicks the dirt grabs a hat and a stick and a knife and a big coat (mind ya it’s about 75 degrees out) and slips them big ole boots on. Off they went.  Old lee had spotted a big tangerine tree in that swamp one day when she was walkin down the road and she made the mistake a tellin Elizabeth about it. So Elizabeth has bin chompin at the bit to get them tangerines.
Anyways it aint too long after they disappeared into the deep dark jungle that I hear Mischa say in a like a real frantic voice “I gotta get outta hear, I cant go any further!”
There’s some indecipherable conversation that takes place, then I see the two of them emergin. “I got scared in there Zoe, the leaves on the trees are as big a elephant ears, there’s vines and cypress knees everywhere that keep reachin up to trip you, the water’s up to your knees and there’s no tellin what’s lurkin in it, its black as a hat, I just coulndt do it.”
“Yeah I told ya that thing’s alive, it got a mind all its own, that swamp, we gotta stay outta it. I seen things comin outta there all times the day and night, you wouldnt believe! And they smell bad!.” I tried to console her, I think i did a pretty good job.
About an hour later though, just like things around here seem to go, something real good happened. That old elizabeth emerged victorious! She come wadin outta that swamp flailin her one hand and smilin real broad. She had a huge satchel full a tangerines. I dont eat no citrus, but it made the two a them beam the whole way acrosst their snouts.
So there ya have the good news and bad news about the swamp, and now I gotta go fetch the paper....so.....later.

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