Zoe’s Back Elephant in
the Room
Well I danced around the obvious long enough. Mischa keeps
wondering why I haven’t been talkin about old dana. That’s our best friend and
her and mischa hunker down each october and have their version of r and r. That
means they play music, eat, and go to the beach, until they’re all brown and
they know all their tunes off my heart, or somethin like that. Well reason I
aint mentioned danas visit is that, what happened to old dana on her annual
florida sojourn, scared the tree jesuses outta me! Mischa got so down in the
dumps over the whole thing, i’d have ta get a shovel and dig er out each
morning!
Yeah, dana came here and got herself real good n sick the
first day she was here!
I dont think they even made it to beach or all the way
through one a their tunes!
And I know they dint eat nothin cause, dana woulda slipped
me a big morsel, she always does.
Anyways she was all in the shape of the letter C when we
found her in her bedroom. We tossed her in the car and ran a whole bunch a red
lights, to get her to the hospital. Mischa was slingin them swear words all
over the car, on accounta no one would clear the way fast enough. Anyways the
long and the short of it was seven whole weeks went by before i laid eyes on
that dana again. Both moms and aunt lee left me alone all day long while they
was tryin to get dana to come home. Seemed like they’d rush outta here in the
morning all perky and go out huntin for some good news, but every night when
they got home they looked like they was losin whatever battle it was they had
got themselves into.
I tried to follow the conversation but i think alot got
scrambled in the translation. Bascially a whole bunch a people with color-coded
coats was hoverin over old dana for almost two months, takin pictures of her
insides and her outsides, then twice they lost their minds apparently mistakin
her for a roast beef, and started makin them little incisions in her belly.
They said they needed get a first hand look inside! But people! Really? Some
white coat did that to me one time when i was younger, and it was life changing
for sure. I havent been able to mate since! And not that im all that into
matin, but occasionally it would be nice, all the same I cant do it, cause a
them knife-wheelin white coats. So i was very empathetic when i had to watch
old dana goin through it beleive me. As a matter a fact it was traumatic for
the whole pack a us, and all dana’s friends up north too. We was worried sick!
So that’s why I dint mention it before, its a tender subject. Me and mischa
thinks the sun rises and sets on old dana’s head, so we never want anything bad
to happen to her.
When dana and lee went back to their other home in pixburg,
our house was so crazy quiet, i was afraid to eat, on accounta makin too much
noise.
We call old dana up everyday to check on her. She still dont
sound too perky though. We’re thinkin a sendin her vitamins and minerals and
woo woo tonics.
Ya know we did live on whidbey island for ten years, and in
california ten years before that. On that west coast one acquires a few outta
the ordinary medicinal herbs and potions. I think its time to put em to the
test.
We gotta get her healthy for the big day! She and lee’s gettin hitched and they’s
gotta be able to swing dance their way to matrimonial bliss at the party.
Anybody got any good pick me ups of any nature, i wouldnt
mind you sendin em our way, so as we can speed up this here recovery process in
time for wedding.
And speakin a weddins, mischa says i aint allow to talk
about florida and bambi today...so until she adjusts her mood and i can get
back on it....i’ll just head for the biscuit counter and see you later.
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