Monday, December 29, 2014

Zoe's Back-Football Night Dec 29 2014


Zoe’s Back, Football Night­­

I don’t know what was goin on in your house last night, but in mine...it was football night. And in some ways that was a very good thing, in other ways...not so much.
First off there was cookin and cleanin. But since it was mischa doin the cookin and cleanin there was plenty a morsels tossed to me and there was no vacuum cleaner! That was the good news.
The bad news was the dang doorbell kept ringin and that rattles my nerves.
Every single time we went out to see who was there, that pesky puppy from next door, which should be named banshee but instead is named fluffy, he comes breakin out from underneath his fence, which he is not supposed to do, and sticks his snout directly into my private parts! Every time we answered the door!
Now that’s kinda embarassin to be sniffed over like that in fronta the company! And that was the first thing they seen when they got to our place!
I think that’s what spurred on this other not so great thing that happened. Old David, he likes to joke around alot, and he is a man, so he has one a them man senses a humor, which aint exactly politic under all circumstances. Them boys and men have a real affection for jokes on the subject of p_ _p and p_ _ ping. They never get it, that women do not share their sensibility or lack thereof. Maybe they just cant resist the reaction they get once they's on a p_ _p-related joke roll. Whatever, you put men and football in the same room for 6 hours you are gonna to be inundated with all things related to bodily functions. 
I think i already mentioned that old mishca and i, we are skataphobes! We do not take pleasure in stories relatin to bathrooms. Once that David figured out how big a skatphobe we was, he just headed on down the road straight for the subject.
He told one bathroom story after another. He was relentless, and even when we was eatin!
Finally old mischa gave in and started usin the same language. She was tossin it around the room like it was an old familiar. That sorta put a damper on the tease so eventually the thing subsided.
That’s a real good tactic i learned from her. So the last time the doorbell was rung (by them boys who is known as the redwood forest on accounta theys too tall for me to see their eyes properly, and mischa has to do a jump shot in order to give em a hug)...  I ran outside fast as i could and slipped under that fluffy’s fence and went runnin  at him from be-hind with my snout all lookin like a threatening spear. He leaped up into the air and was shreiking like a little piglet.
I scared the bees kneeses outta him, or somethin  like that. Anyway, i would not be surprsied if that put an end to the ambushin and privates-sniffin routine a his.
But back to football night! There’s a bunch a favoirte expressions that come burstin outta peoples snouts when they’s watchin this game: “C’mon man”  “Get him!” “No No NO NoNo No NO!!!” “Up the middle, lookout!”  “No Way did he grab that guy!” And these things is accompanied by one or more people springin up from their chair and flailin their arms at the tv screen. I never seen not one person on that tv screen ever say one word back to em, but they keep screamin at it anyway!
For a holiday present, the moms got  themselves a bigger rectangle to watch the football game on, I guess the teams was gettin too big for that little screen we had, and all them huge football players couldnt squeeze in.

Anyways, the other good news is this, someone bought deli meat!  That was special and I must say I got my fair share! There were plenty a pup fans in the room and I sorta laid on the ‘i’m a poor old dog just wishin for little a somethin look’. That always helps.
At the end of the day, that team from seattle won and so did them steelers, so there was a room full a happy happy green black and gold people. They dint seem to mind at all that the players never once answered any their shout outs. Personally that would a hurt my feelins...but hey its breakfast time now, so later.

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