Zoe’s Back, Football
Night
I don’t know what was goin on in your house last night, but
in mine...it was football night. And in some ways that was a very good thing,
in other ways...not so much.
First off there was cookin and cleanin.
But since it was mischa doin the cookin and cleanin there was plenty a morsels
tossed to me and there was no vacuum cleaner! That was the good news.
The bad news was the dang doorbell kept ringin and that
rattles my nerves.
Every single time we went out to see who was there,
that pesky puppy from next door, which should be named banshee but instead is
named fluffy, he comes breakin out from underneath his fence, which he is not
supposed to do, and sticks his snout directly into my private parts! Every time we answered the door!
Now that’s kinda embarassin to be sniffed over
like that in fronta the company! And that was the first thing they seen when
they got to our place!
I think that’s what spurred on this other not so great thing
that happened. Old David, he likes to joke around alot, and he is a man, so he
has one a them man senses a humor, which aint exactly politic under all
circumstances. Them boys and men have a real affection for jokes on the
subject of p_ _p and p_ _ ping. They
never get it, that women do not share their sensibility or lack thereof. Maybe they just cant resist the reaction they get once they's
on a p_ _p-related joke roll.
Whatever, you put men and football in the same room for 6 hours you
are gonna to be inundated with all things related to bodily functions.
I think i already
mentioned that old mishca and i, we are skataphobes! We do not take pleasure in
stories relatin to bathrooms. Once that David figured out how big a skatphobe
we was, he just headed on down the road straight for the subject.
He told one
bathroom story after another. He was relentless, and even when we was eatin!
Finally old mischa gave in and started usin the same
language. She was tossin it around the room like it was an old familiar. That
sorta put a damper on the tease so eventually the thing subsided.
That’s a real good tactic i learned from her. So the last
time the doorbell was rung (by them boys who is known as the redwood forest
on accounta theys too tall for me to see their eyes properly, and mischa has to
do a jump shot in order to give em a hug)... I ran outside fast as i could and slipped under that
fluffy’s fence and went runnin at
him from be-hind with my snout all lookin like a threatening spear. He leaped
up into the air and was shreiking like a little piglet.
I scared the bees kneeses outta him, or somethin like that. Anyway, i would not be
surprsied if that put an end to the ambushin and privates-sniffin routine a
his.
But back to football night! There’s a bunch a favoirte
expressions that come burstin outta peoples snouts when they’s watchin this
game: “C’mon man” “Get him!” “No
No NO NoNo No NO!!!” “Up the middle, lookout!” “No Way did he grab that guy!” And these things is
accompanied by one or more people springin up from their chair and flailin
their arms at the tv screen. I never seen not one person on that tv screen ever
say one word back to em, but they keep screamin at it anyway!
For a holiday present, the moms got themselves a bigger rectangle to watch
the football game on, I guess the teams was gettin too big for that little
screen we had, and all them huge football players couldnt squeeze in.
Anyways, the other good news is this, someone bought deli
meat! That was special and I must
say I got my fair share! There were plenty a pup fans in the room and I sorta
laid on the ‘i’m a poor old dog just wishin for little a somethin look’. That
always helps.
At the end of the day, that team from seattle won and so did
them steelers, so there was a room full a happy happy green black and gold
people. They dint seem to mind at all that the players never once answered any
their shout outs. Personally that would a hurt my feelins...but hey its
breakfast time now, so later.
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