Saturday, August 3, 2013

Day 21 8213 or OY VEY! HAVE I GOT TSOURIS!



AUGUST 2 DAY 21 ZOE’S MORNING PAGES
OY VEY! HAVE I GOT TSOURIS!

Oh boy, I don't mean OHBOY! I mean ohboy, like "OY have I got tsouris!" ( that's Yiddish for troubles!) ( don't tell Mischa, cause that happens to be her last name!)
Mischa and B pulled outta here like bats outta hell this morning. And...I got plucked off the earth by SMcB  right as I was takin a runnin leap into the van! My legs was dangling and I was swimming in air, it was pathetic. Mischa looked all pathetic too and guilty all around her edges. Yeah guilty, is right, what's the big idea Mischa?
I don't even know these ladies. What makes you so sure they got my best interests at heart. I heard them ask you three times if they could leave me alone in the house. "Oh yeah,"you says, "she can stay home alone." Like there's nothing to it. Well big missy know it all, you don't like stayin home alone so much, what makes you so sure I'd like it?
Remember I'm the one who holds your hand when you gets them melt downs, usually starts when you is all alone don't it? I remember, but you forget, convenient eh?
And I already know where you  is going. You're going to that town with the excellent crab cakes and the swell ipa's that we enjoy on the patio, while B is selling baubles on the sidewalk.
I know and I' m not happy about it. These ladies could decide to hustle me into their suitcase and fly me back east. I' m a western dog, gals, a cowgirl and a rabbit russlin squirrel chasin, coyote lassoing cowgirl, and ain't interested one iota in headin east, anytime soon.
I go where you go, that's been our pact, until this morning when I gets snagged by the Irish lady and her Belgium sidekick.
So then we spend all morning with our heads in rectangles until one of them yawns real loud and snaps us outta our deliriums. Btw my rectangle was a nice soft brown blanket my mom left me, SMcB's was a computerized version, an iPad I think..., and the Belgium had her head lodged in a crossword puzzle, the whole time... her snout was turned down and her tongue was lookin like a gherkin.
Then the phone rings and I hear Mischa's voice on the line squawking about her credit card something or other, an SMcB starts dartin from room to room askin a long series of questions real fast like she's gotta get it all out before the whole nine yards blows up from here to Timbuktu.
Then they starts strategizing about relays, and I starts thinking... " hey, I'm about to be liberated and reunited with my real people instead of hangin indefinitely with these facsimiles.
Next thing I know the Belgium stuffs a couple old pieces of burrito in my bowl closes all the lights and runs out the door, locking it behind her. Now I'm inside, there's a thunderstorm brewin in the distance, my moms are 60 miles away and the facsimiles are gone too!
" OY vey, tsouris is what I got and what I want!"  Was I scared? Yeah I was scared, I'm not afraid to admit it, life's crude uncertainties are never reassuring are they? But I endured, I found a copy of a ram das book on 101ways to visualize peace...and I took a seat next to my food bowl ( yes the tiny grey metal one, not the nice ceramic one cuzins Judi and bunny got me in florida) and I started to pray, meditate, bow my head, squeeze my eyes shut, breathe real slow and real deep...until I was and wasn't there no more.
Next thing I know...Mischa and B are standin over me all four of their paws headin for my belly, and we all had a big bad smile waitin for each other!
The Irish and the Belgium apparently had flown the coop....and a delicious dinner of crab was had by all.    Alls well that ends well I guess.
Gotta run now, my legs been crossed since the facsimiles ran out on me during the thunderstorm.

http://www.micheldemetriatsouris.blogspot.com
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