Friday, August 9, 2013

Day 29 August 10 The Day Zoe Got Banished from the Queendom


Dog to Dog Conversations
And/or The Day Zoe Got Banished from the Queendom
AUGUST 10 DAY 29 ZOE’S MORNING PAGES

Dear cuzzin Zoee,
So how many smart poodles do you know? I only know one poodle and he was special needs. I don't know if he was smart but he sure dint have no hospitality and I woont want to be a poodle. Don't them have to go get baths and blow dries?
And about alter egos: I think yous onto something. A while back I changed my name to Tex for a week or so.
Is you a widow?
Signed…Pinky

Pink
This is a big pile of questions and I’m gonna go right down the list.
1. I know a lot of poodles, the B’s in Albuquerque have a big black one, the lady who comes here and organizes all a Mischa’s paints n stuff got a big white one, there’s one lives at Roxy and Laura’s house-its a real little one. Ya know Pink there’s so many poodles in my life it’d take me forever to list em all. And they come in a million colors too! All them ones I know has top honors in the smarts department, so I can’t speak to the one you know who has the special needs. Remember, there aint no predictin nothing in this place.
2. On the alter egos, wow, wow. You was Tex?  Tell more sistah!
3. Is I a widow? Well yes I is, cause you know dogs can get married in the United States. It makes my moms awfully sore too, cause they been a couple for 20 years almost, and they aint allowed to get married, but we are! Go figure that one out, eh!  So yes me and bean was married. We didnt have no children though on accounta he had something snipped and so did I!. Not sure what that was, but no puppies ever appeared, no matter what act we decided to perform. Course we didnt really go in for no Comma Sutures or nothin like that.
Well I gotta get into my own head now cause I had a big problem today! Well it was this evening really, but I think maybe it all got started early on. Basically I think all problems follow ya straight outta the birth canal.
Then they just dog ya, excuse the expression, for the rest of your dang life!
So first off the two mom’s was cleanin and cleanin that apartment like usual. I’m used to it now, even the vacuum don’t scare me no more. I gets on that nice leather sofa and I watch them goin back and forth. And I starts hearin some guys voice sayin ‘’yar gettin sleepier and sleepier…” and next thing is, I’m snorin. Then what seems like forever goes by and I get woke up with Mischa yellin at me to get on outta there. She’s all actin like she didn’t know I was in there or something. Doesn’t she keep an eye on me at all times? She really should, she said she would…
Then I comes to find out they been moppin! So I gotta walk through water! Ah well, I did it in a hurry, caus a all the words which was headin in my direction. All comein I might add offa Mischa’s flappin tongue!
Anyways there was people in and outta here all day, my nerves was shot by the enda the day. We even had a double visit from the under 6 crowd from next door. Hey they’re cute, and Mischa and B adore them, but me, ya know, not so much… The under 6 crowd can flip me right on over the edge.
And so it is in that context that I present the facts of my case. It was later in the evening about 8ish I’d say.
There was cats fightin outside, some coyotes goin at it in the distance, and then these other unidentifiable high pitched whining sounds. On and on it went like this. So then, up the driveway! Comes a car! It is known pretty much worldwide, that a car in the driveway of a dog and her family, is the sole responsibility of said dog. And my responsibility is…to alert the family as to the presence of the car, its speed and its contents. The smells emanating from its interior are to be described in as much detail as is discernable from my perch…on the sofa.
So, just sayin, I jumps to attention, gets myself on high alert and performs my duties! I starts to bark and youda thought the world was rushing to an abrupt end, cause as soon as I get good and loud so as everyone can hear me…Mischa starts yellin my name real loud from the other room. And I’m thinking ‘’hey you’re given away my location, to the perspective enemy home invader!’’
Then I had such good momentum I really couldn’t put the brakes on the barking so next thing ya know I hear Mischa’s desk chair go rollin across the floor real fast. Clomp clomp clomp clomp clomp and before I knows it, she’s bearin down on me, with this terrifying look in her eye. Well I jumped down off that sofa and got as  low down to the ground as I could and looked up at her with the frightened puppy face. That put a halt to the ‘’Zoe NO, Zoe NO NO NO”, real quick. So just when I’m thinking ok she’s over it, I can resume and get my last barks in while these prowlers is makin their way up the drive, low and behold..I’m up in the air! And she aint wastin no time either. She runs me up the steps and dumps me in my bed!  I’m talking 8 o’clock people! No popcorn, no cookie, no butter butter cream cream sugar sugar sweetie… nothing, door closes, and she’s gone!
I aint never been sent to my room before!
It was like getting banished from my own queendom!
My feelins is hurtin real bad. I;m not sure how I am going get over this exactly. I got my hopes up for Mischa to swing open that door any minute now and say something like ‘’April fool’’ or  ‘’Sike” or  ‘’ Oh Zoemou, darling, sweetheart, best of the best dogs in the universe, of course I’m not angry with you, of course I still love you, of course I would never abandon you.”
Times a wastin, Mischa tic tick tock…ya comin?

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